Sober Super Bowl

I love the super bowl. I love football.

It's America. It's freedom. It's a celebration of all things that make this country great.

It's about taking chunk after chunk of land from other people and wearing really tight pants while you do it. It's just like manifest destiny without the genocide. I don't care what anybody says, that's a beautiful thing.

I must admit.... a super bowl with two teams that I couldn't care less about is not as much fun when I'm sober. By the way, I quit drinking.

I started my super bowl holiday by watching a bit of the pre-game bullshit.

Mick Jagger was rambling about American Football and the Manchester United. at first, I thought it was Keith Richards. I get them confused a lot. Zombies all look alike to me.

I recall last year that they had blind kids sing the national anthem. Aaron Neville and Aretha Franklin were slightly more disturbing to watch. I always wondered what Jabba the Hutt would look like in a chinchilla coat. Now I know, thanks Aretha Franklin.

As far as the actual game went, I found myself caring less and less as it went on. Since I wasn't drinking, I decided to be really lame and take notes. Here are some notes from those notes.

• Jeremy Stevens proved to be the bitch that Joey Porter claimed him to be.
• Matt Hasselbeck was too busy thinking about blowing other guys and manage to throw an interception.
• Hines Ward was MVP. He deserved it.
• I will miss watching Jerome Bettis play football. He's jiggly.

That's it.

21-10 PIttsburgh Steelers over the Seattle Seahawks.