LeBron James Can't Read

LeBron James doesn't need the dunk contest. He doesn't need to be literate either.

CLEVELAND -- LeBron James has something to go along with his sore right knee: a twisted tongue.

On Tuesday, the Cavaliers star was reading a children's book to 23 elementary students as part of the NBA's "Read to Achieve" program when he got stumped by a tricky name in Dr. Seuss' "Oh, the Places You'll Go."

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James invited a few kids to sit with him to read the text stuffed with familiar Seuss' rhymes. On the last page, James paused, smiled and said, "I'm not even going to try that name" when he got tangled up with the second part of: "Be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea, you're off to Great Places!"

Dr. Suess can be a little thought to read. The complexities of the character development in "Hop on Pop" will probably never be truly understood. That's why I can't blame LeBron for giving up in front of a room full of children. It's not quite Kierkegaard, but only lame college kids would know about that. LeBron was too good for college. Reading is for losers when you can jump like him.

LeBron James is setting a good example for the next generation of children. Reading is useless when you can put a ball in a hoop. If more children would put down the Vonnegut and pick up a basketball, the NBA would be an amazing thing to watch in 15 years. Don't worry about the 99.999999% of kids that lack the talent to end up in the NBA, it's their fault. They probably accidentally read a book.