Super

The Super Bowl is set. It's the Steelers and the Seahawks in Detroit. My original pick of Panthers and Patriots didn't quite pan out that way. Despite my prediction, the Cowboys missed the playoffs. And if that wasn't enough, my homeboy Jesus Plummer crapped up in the AFC championship. I don't really like Denver or anything but I like that they have Jesus in at quarterback.

Since I can only get me to care about this game by illegally gambling, I need to make a pick.

I pick the Steelers.

I could talk about the finer points of football that any drunkard idiot fan could bring up to support that pick, but I just think I'm more afraid of them than I am of any other team. I do not mean that in the football sense. I feel like if I were to drive by them, I'd have to roll up my windows and lock my doors. If I don't, Troy Polamalu is going to pull me out of my car and Jerome Bettis is going to piss on me. I don't want that to happen. If they don't win the faggy looking glass football, Joey Porter will stab Matt Hasselbeck and take it from him.