Cheerleaders Arrested For Licking Each Other's Vaginas and Fighting.

The biggest story right now isn't the riots in France, the pirates off the coast of Africa, or even the war in Iraq. It's the two Carolina Panthers Cheerleaders that were dyking out in the bathroom of a Florida bar. The mavs whopping up on the Suns and the Spurs is a close second. I haven't wrote about this yet because I've been feeding Pugs info and pictures of the girls. Well, here we go now...

TAMPA, Fla. - Two Carolina Panthers cheerleaders were charged after their arrest at a bar where witnesses told police the women had sex in a restroom.

Renee Thomas, 20, of Pittsboro, N.C., and Angela Keathley, 26, of Belmont, N.C., were taken to Hillsborough County Jail early Sunday.

Angela Keathley

Renee Thomas

Sure, Angela Keathley looks like she's been punched in the nose by an angry drummer boyfriend a few times and Renee looks like the type of girl that would be impressed by your bad ass Trans Am, but THEY WERE GOING DOWN ON EACH OTHER IN A BATHROOM. Where I'm from, that counts for something. A 6 or a 7 instantly jumps to 10 status when she's willing to lick her friend's vagina. Anything above a 7 is unthinkable. Most men's brain and penis couldn't handle the stimulation. They'd simply have a complete body shut down.

Here is what we know about the situation.

• Witnesses say that the two girls were having sex in the bathroom stall.
• Thomas got into an argument with another female patron after the sex. She then punched her.
• The police came and arrested the girls.
• Angela Keathley resisted arrest.
• Renee Thomas claimed to be fellow Panthers cheerleader, Kristen Owen, and was in possession of her ID.
• This is pretty hot.
• Yeah, hot.

That's what we know. Since I'm an expert detective, yes, even better than Batman, I have spent the better part of two days "going over evidence". I've come to this scenario.

Thomas and Keathley were asked to come to Tampa Bay by a couple of fat cat Tobacco plantation owners (or whatever the fuck rich dudes in North Carolina do) and since they're vapid whores looking to exploit their sexuality for fancy dinners and clothes, they agree to the trip. Thomas, foreseeing the problems of being underage in a city where she's not an E level celebrity, borrowed Kristen Owen's ID. Thomas figured that since blonde white girls all look alike, this wouldn't be a problem. The guys and girls arrive in Tampa and head over to Banana Joe's. They choose that particular establishment because of it's obvious class. Well, it's classy to people that have "3: never forget" tattoos on their asses. While at the bar, they drink patron tequila. I know that it was this brand because that's what coked up whores drink. Keathley, who explains in her Carolina Panther bio that the best part of being a cheerleader is the friendship she has with the girls, lures Thomas into the bathroom to "powder their noses". They do powder their noses with the help of a mirror and a straw. While enjoying the sexy feeling that coke gives you, it's quite sexy, Keathley unleashes her inner-dyke and goes to work on Thomas' vagina. It takes Thomas a little long to finish since her privates are numb from being pounded 8 times a day by various rich guys . People outside the stall are getting restless. They're drunk and filled with piss. They fear that if they don't piss, their bladders will explode. Some of the bar patrons explain the urgency of the situation. The girls finish up with the clam combating and exit the stall. Thomas takes offense to a few of the words that some random woman tells her, and unleashes her trailer park roots on her. The police are called and the whole world is talking about it the next day.

OK, so it's not exactly hard to come up with that scenario. It's just hot thinking about how it happened.